All the people I have met that are or want to be sober talk about “the other” in their life. Some borrow the name “Wine Witch” from a popular “Quit Lit” book. Some call her by other names. I have heard her called “Booze Bitch,” “Champaign Cunt,” and even “Zelda.” I call mine ALA. TheContinue reading “Sobriety: Talking yourself out of it.”
Well, not exactly the end of the word… But definitely the end of who you used to be. As a chronic drinker, occasional binge drinker, or every-day morning-to-night drinker, the alcohol becomes a part of you. It is how your friends and family see you. It is how you see yourself. Sometimes, it becomes aContinue reading “Sobriety and finding a friend for the end of the world.”
Two weeks ago today, I was have a pretty rough day. I want to preface this post by saying that “Quit Lit” is amazing and inspiring – but sometimes it feels a little out of touch with my reality. I can relate to the successes and to their “pre-sobriety lives,” but you very infrequently hearContinue reading “Sobriety – Growth, Failure, Vulnerability, and a Milestone”
Last night was a bit tough for me. It may seem counter-intuitive, but I don’t like to blog when I’m in the middle of intense feeling, or even journal for that matter. When I later read the journal entries written by an impassioned me, I find my thoughts to be disjointed and irrational. I needContinue reading “Sobriety – day 12 (again) – White knuckling. Strength is where you find it.”
Goals: Trying to master going alcohol-free while not ruining my diet.
Effort status: Failing at one of those goals.
As a young person, drinking is an act of rebellion. As an adult, not drinking is. It’s your journey. Keep. Fucking. Going.
I realize my life is like my favorite coffee cup.The outside is a little damaged and that damage is visible to others.I’m not 100% sure how the damage occurred.It can’t realistically be returned to original condition. But that is okay.I don’t need to explain the damage to anyone, and I am allowed to still loveContinue reading “Day?? : Coffee, Contemplation & Contentment”
Alcohol and love can be toxic. When a person says, (but their actions say): I love you (as long as I’m pleased with you),I am affectionate and want you to feel loved (as long as I don’t feel slighted in any way or need to punish you for something I feel you’ve done wrong),Facts areContinue reading “Day Who Knows: alcohol and love toxicity.”
I have come to think of my journey to sobriety as a cycle. It is a terrible cycle. For a very long time, drinking moderately was well within reach. A little buzz, and I was fine. No big deal. Every once in a while, I would “go too hard” or “let the monster out,” asContinue reading “Day 70 – Sobriety and The Cycle of Change / Failure as a Function of Success”
Today I relearned a beautiful life lesson. As I stated previously, I fancy myself a suburban farmer. I have a very small garden and planted a few early spring plants, including kale. I worked the ground in preparation of the plants. I prepared the soil by tilling then adding fertilizer and mulching. I hardened theContinue reading “Day 69 – Sober(ish) and Life after trauma – Nourish what you want to grow.”