After 15 days of being sober, I can still remember day 1, very clearly. That is a good thing.
I had a tough week last week and this week isn’t looking much better, from a stress perspective. But at least I’m facing it clear headed and hangover free.
I went out to a friend’s surprise birthday party, at a bar, on (day 13-14).
I stayed sober. Being completely honest, it was far away and I drove so that helped me stick to staying sober. My boyfriend, however, did not stay sober. He did not act out or be mean to anyone. He was kind, and sweet. He was extra lovey towards me.
But he did have several beers at the bar (10-15 by his count), and wanted to stop on the way home to get more beer, at 12:30. I stopped for him, and he got a 6 pack. Believe me, it’s easier than fighting, and he is a grown man that can make his own decisions. He drank 3 more and passed out.
The next morning. I slept in until 830, stretched, made coffee, cleaned up, made him a fatty breakfast, juiced for myself, and started reading a book by the time he got up at 11 ish. He ate, thanked me, and promptly went back to his place to couch-sit for the rest of the day. He felt like absolute shit.
I only mention his experience because juxtaposed against my own, it really helped to solidify for me that I am on the right path.
Two weeks ago (15 days now), I was couch-sitting all day, full of regret, only able to sip seltzer water and eat crackers with butter. I was sick for 2 days. I can still remember exactly as I felt.
I feel kind-of guilty using my boyfriend’s experience as a touchstone for my own. To be clear, I have asked if he wants to join me on this journey. I have pointed out the health, emotional, and financial benefits to slowing down/quitting alcohol. He says he does want to be healthier and understands my points, but he is on his journey, and I am on mine.
And in the end, this is MY journey. I really have to walk it alone. If (an)other(s) want to join me along my path, then I welcome them. But I can’t pause my journey or make my progress contingent on someone else taking part.
Going forward, my path is clear. Sober, clear headed, and seeking things that make me healthier physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially.
I want this more than I want to feel drunk or the temporarily mental escape from stress.