Goals: Trying to master going alcohol-free while also controlling my diet.
Effort status: Failing at one of those goals.
I started strong with a coffee for breakfast. For lunch: a string cheese, salad, and home made kimchi (I am rebuilding my gut with home grown pro-biotics). You know… good stuff. I decide to skip the salad I brought, and WALK to the local yogurt shop (the tangy pro-biotic kind of yogurt) for an after-lunch sweet. (I am walking, after all.. that’s healthy, right?) So, yogurt shop guy has a special on the board of what can only be described as a “frozen yogurt float.” Frozen yogurt, covered in a choice of cream sodas. I chose red cream soda and banana yogurt. I also buy a pint of the original flavor for my office freezer (you know, for later). I think to myself: What I am eating is full of sugar.. But I mean.. its only one sweet treat, right?
I walk back to my office and and put my frozen yogurt pint in the community freezer…. LO and BEHOLD… some ice-cream-angel has placed an assortment of single serve ice cream treats in there… I look at my “float,” which is almost gone, and think… Fuck it… I choose my favorite, and ate that delicious freebie for my after after-lunch-sweet sweet.
Go ahead… Judge me.
My consolation is, I am not going to drink today. I did not drink yesterday. For today, and the past 10 days, I am treating my body better. I have not intentionally poisoned myself in 10 days. Good for me.
But Yes… I am craving ALL the freaking sugar, and should I be awake in an hour, and not in a sugar-coma, I will probably feel bad about all the sugar I have consumed… I think I can actually hear my pancreas screaming for mercy. I may just have, possibly, given myself diabetes today.
But for right now, no… I don’t feel bad about this at all.
Effort status: SUCCEEDING at one of those goals.
Take the WIN where you can get it folks.. Life is about perspective.
Much love to you all. Stay safe. Stay Sober.
(staying) Sober Over 40 
I’ve been able to stay sober for 6 years, but food is still hard!
However, overeating on food only makes me feel or get a bit fatter, not make my life miserable like, drinking did!
xo
Wendy
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eventually all of those small successes will add up..most things I’ve read and people I’ve talked to in their first year or first few serious attempts at sobriety say the same thing- there are compromises. go ahead and do the sugar thing, or extra sleep thing, or binge watching thing or whatever else it takes..no use piling guilt on top of guilt ..in a year , you may find it easier to address those other things …but sober has to come first. I am no saint- for sure, and sometimes i feel guilty even giving advice..but , well, there ya go anyway…lol
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Thank you for commenting. You’re 100% correct. And I think we can all find wisdom in one another. Regardless of perfection levels! Thank you!
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